Cultivating Connections

When a client comes in who is struggling with depressive symptoms, one of the first things I ask about is their support system and the quality of human connections in their life. I’m never surprised to hear that this area of their life is less robust than they would like. After 20 years in practice, I’ve seen a clear correlation between feeling down and lacking solid connections. 

I want to clarify that I’m talking about something more than social activities. It’s easy to go to a party or a bar where you’re surrounded by people and still feel lonely. I’m talking about truly being seen and emotionally met by someone. This feeling is food for the soul, and without it most of us will wither. Interrelatedness makes us less lonely, more supported, and more resilient than doing life alone. Here are some tips for cultivating stronger connections:

• Find Common Interests: Seek common ground with others. Shared interests can be a great foundation for building connections.

• Be Authentic: Be yourself and allow others to see the real you. Authenticity builds trust and makes it easier for others to connect with you.

• Listen Actively: Pay attention to what others are saying without interrupting or judgment. Show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings.

• Be Approachable: Appear friendly, open, and approachable to encourage others to connect with you. Smile and maintain positive body language.

• Stay Positive: Maintain a positive attitude and focus on the good in others. Optimism and positivity can be contagious.

• Be present. When you're with someone, give them your full attention. Put away your phone and other distractions.

• Be open to meeting new people. Smile, make eye contact, and introduce yourself. You never know who you might connect with.

Remember, building human connections takes time and effort. Be patient, and don't be discouraged if some interactions don't lead to deep connections right away. Over time, with practice and a genuine interest in others, you will develop more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.