How Do I Know If This is Love Addiction?

Are you in a relationship that is taking up more than its share of your mental and emotional bandwidth? Are you feeling more anxiety than pleasure from your connection with someone? If so, you may be experiencing some symptoms of love addiction. Like other kinds of dependencies, love addiction has a negative impact on your life and your relationships. Your friends may be distancing themselves from you, your hobbies may be falling by the wayside, and your job performance may be suffering because of the amount of energy you are putting into the object of your affection. Here are some common signs of love addiction:

• Constantly seeking attention and affection from a romantic partner

• Feeling anxious or depressed when you are not in contact

• Staying in a situation that feels unhealthy or even abusive

• Obsessively thinking about a romantic partner

• Neglecting responsibilities, hobbies, or other relationships in order to spend more time with a romantic partner

• Putting the needs of your romantic partner before your own

• Staying in a relationship that is unstable or toxic

People develop love addictions for a variety of reasons, including childhood trauma or neglect, low self-esteem, fear of abandonment, or difficulty regulating emotions. 

If you find yourself in a relationship that feels addictive, here are some things you can do:

• Seek therapy to address any underlying issues

• Create a self-care plan, including spending time with non-romantic loved ones, and don’t deviate from it

• Develop a dating plan and create accountability for yourself to ensure you will stick with it

• Focus your attention on things that feel nurturing for you, and on doing kind things for others (besides your love interest)